Reconciliation
Overcoming Rejection

Overcoming Rejection

There are two things you and I were never designed to experience: death and rejection. That is why they both feel so foreign and hurt so much: they are utterly contrary to what we were made for. When God created the world, everything in it was “very good” (Gen. 1:31)....

The Best Way to Rewrite History

The Best Way to Rewrite History

Jerry’s wife had filed for divorce. She was willing to mediate the legal issues but made it clear she had no interest in reconciliation. Ted had a similar problem with his church. Months of unresolved tensions had overflowed in a contentious elders meeting, with a...

Four Amazing Church Discipline Cases

Four Amazing Church Discipline Cases

I’ve been involved in dozens of church discipline cases, both as an elder in my church and as a conciliator assisting other churches. Some of these cases were handled so badly that they resulted in multi-million dollar lawsuits. But some of them were handled so well...

Destroy Your Enemies

Destroy Your Enemies

As the Civil War was coming to an end, it seemed inevitable that the North would prevail. President Lincoln had many discussions with administration “hardliners,” who hotly opposed his intention to be merciful and generous to the South. During one particularly heated...

Face to Face and No Excuses

Face to Face and No Excuses

Someone on my team had blown it. Not ethically or morally. He had simply taken too long to complete some significant tasks, which put one of our clients in an awkward position in a mediation case. Our staff member's attempts to apologize to the client seemed to fall...

If Your Enemy is Freezing

If Your Enemy is Freezing

One night in the early years of our marriage, Corlette and I had such an intense disagreement that we went to bed unreconciled. Yes, we broke the command not to let the sun go down on our anger. As we lay there facing away from each other, a bizarre contest developed....

Parting in Peace

Parting in Peace

My big brother died three days ago. Steve was diagnosed with cancer in 1999 and was told he had only a year to live. Not willing to leave his family so soon, he fought this enemy to a standstill for fourteen years, thanking God for every extra day he enjoyed with...

Clarity Plus Charity

Clarity Plus Charity

Last week I posted a story on my blog entitled “Time to Let Go.” In that post I included this statement: “Sometimes [letting go] will call for … accepting a divorce to preserve some measure of cooperative parenting rather than dragging a legal battle out for months.”...