- Relational Wisdom | Ken Sande | Biblical Emotional Intelligence | Peacemaking | Institute Christian Conciliation | Reconciliation - https://rw360.org -

Building Passport

I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly.

No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6.

I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging and helping them. And for that I need a lot of passports. One for my wife, four for my children and their spouses, three more for my grandchildren, over thirty for other relatives and close friends, and dozens more for the new people I meet and counsel every year.

A passport is an authorization to go someplace you have no inherent right to be. In relational terms, it is the permission that people give to others to enter into their lives, to learn their secrets, to know their struggles, to offer advice and correction.

If you want others to allow you into their lives—to have real relationship with them—you must earn a relational passport from each person you engage. The best way to do so is to relate to others in such a way that they would answer “yes” to three key questions, each of which encompasses a variety of sub-questions that roll around in people’s minds when they are thinking of opening up to you:

Let these questions echo in the back of your mind as you relate to others. Ask God to enable you to inspire affirmative answers in others by engaging them with humility, patience, compassion, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, honesty and wisdom (Col. 3:12; James 3:17).

If you do so, you’ll be well on your way to having more passports than you ever dreamed.

– Ken Sande

Reflection Questions:

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© 2021 Ken Sande

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