The woman on the phone was crying so hard I could barely understand her. "You warned me," she said over and over. "But I didn't listen, and now it's too late." "To late for what?" I asked when she paused to take a breath. "When did I warn you? Why is it too late?"...
The Three P’s of Satisfaction
It’s not often that an attorney loses a lawsuit, along with her two million dollar contingency fee, and yet walks away satisfied. I’ve seen similar satisfaction with employees who didn’t get a promotion. With church members who disagreed with their pastors. And with...
Blind Optimism Can Be Dangerous
Churches and ministries (as well as married couples) could learn a vital lesson from the U.S. State Department. Chip Zimmer, our ministry’s Vice President, worked for the State Department from 1990-2001, serving in diplomatic posts in Africa and Latin America. In...
Never Give Up
One of the greatest heartbreaks a parent can experience is to be estranged from an adult child … which usually means losing contact with beloved grandchildren as well. That’s what happened to Karen when she offended her daughter, Debra, with a few careless words...
Are You Teachable?
I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that...
A Better Way to Handle Abuse
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come...
Forgive Like Edison, or Better Yet, Jesus
Thomas Edison never claimed to be a Christian, but he did a better job of demonstrating forgiveness than many believers do. When Edison and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took twenty-four hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day he handed...
If Your Enemy Needs Electricity
Rich, a dear friend of mine, had a horrible conflict with his neighbor, Cynthia. A property line dispute that began with debates in the back yard had evolved into heated arguments. Eventually Cynthia filed a lawsuit. As an attorney and Certified Conciliator, Rich felt...
Embarrassing Sin, Comforting Forgiveness
I recently sent out an impulsive and sin-tainted email to a group of people whom I dearly love. Two brothers quickly and gently confronted me. I then had the humbling experience of emailing a detailed confession to the same group of people. But the embarrassment I...
Turning Assault into Reconciliation
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God...