When Andrew stepped into the pulpit to make his public confession, he feared it would shatter his image. It did … but not in the way he expected.

He was certainly going against his instincts. Whenever we’ve done something wrong, our natural instinct is to conceal, deny or minimize our guilt.

This dynamic began with Adam and Eve and is painfully evident in many churches, where both pastors and parishioners often give in to the tendency to conceal rather than confess their wrongs.

Andrew’s confession was an exception to this pattern, and it changed his relationship with his church.

Andrew was an excellent preacher, but his relational skills left a lot of room for improvement. He did not read people well and was often insensitive to the way his demeanor and tone of voice stung others. The staff in his previous churches overlooked his relational deficits, but the secretary in his new church, who I’ll called Susan, could not do so. After five months of confusing guidance and implied criticism, she became so frustrated that she told an elder’s wife, who I’ll call Elaine, that she was going to resign.

After hearing Susan’s story, Elaine wisely counseled her not to resign until she communicated her feelings to Andrew and gave him a chance to change. “I can’t confront him,” Susan replied. “He’s the pastor and I’m only a secretary. Besides, he’ll probably  accuse me of being overly sensitive. It’s just a lot easier to resign.”

“Then what happens with the next secretary?” Elaine responded. “If someone doesn’t doesn’t help him see how he impacts people, his behavior will continue with the next secretary. God could use you to help him change, which could benefit everyone who works with him in the future.”

Although everything in her wanted to avoid meeting with Andrew, Susan finally saw the wisdom in Elaine’s advice and agree to share her concerns with their pastor, but only if Elaine agreed to go with her.

When the two women met with Andrew the next day, they feared that he would become defensive. To their great surprise, however, he patiently listened to Susan’s observations and received her comments with remarkable humility. He admitted that he had failed to relate to her respectfully, asked for her forgiveness and committed to specific changes. The meeting went so well that Susan agreed to give him another chance, and they went on to enjoy working together for ten more years until she and her husband moved to back to their home town.

But what made their situation truly remarkable is what Andrew did the Sunday after Susan and Elaine came to talk with him.

With Susan’s permission, he described their conversation to the entire congregation, commending Susan for her graciousness and courage, as well as Elaine for her wisdom and advice.

And then he said this:

“As I’ve reflected on what Susan told me about my behavior toward her, I realized I’ve probably treated other people in our church with the same kind of pride, thoughtlessness and impatience. So I’m asking for your forgiveness today as well. If you need to talk with me about how I’ve treated you, my door is open. Please pray that God would help me to become more sensitive to how I’m treating others, and if you see me stumble, please do me the favor of pointing it out so I can continue to grow.”

Andrew later told me that everything in him resisted making such a confession. He feared he would lose his image as a godly and mature Christian leader whose example inspired others.

But he soon learned that his confession had exactly the opposite effect from what he feared. Instead of diminishing his congregation’s respect for him, his humble obedience to God lifted him to a new level of credibility and trust in the eyes of the people God had called him to serve. In fact, years later when visitors asked what kind of pastor he was, his people would often describe this incident as an example of his godly character.

Once again, Jesus made good on his promise: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted” (Luke 14:11).

May God help each of us to remember Andrew’s example the next time we’re tempted to conceal, deny or minimize our own sin, and may he also give us grace to trust his promise to bless those who humble themselves under his mighty hand.

– Ken Sande

Reflection Questions

• If one of the candidates for the U.S. presidency followed Andrew’s example, would that decrease or increase your respect for that person?
• Do you find it natural or difficult to admit your wrongs? Why do you think that is?
• Think of some people with whom you find it easier to be open and vulnerable about your failures? What character qualities do those people have that you’d like to develop in your life?
• Can you remember any of the leaders in your church specifically admitting their own sin? How did it affect your attitude toward them? How did it impact your church?

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