What Is Relational Wisdom?

Relational wisdom, in essence, is the desire and ability to obey Jesus’ timeless command, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart … and love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:37-39).

In modern terms, relational wisdom may be defined as your ability to discern emotions, interests and abilities in yourself and others, to interpret this information in the light of God’s Word, and to use these insights to manage your responses and relationships successfully.

Life Is All About Relationship!

Jesus’ Parable of the Talents reminds us that relationships are precious gifts that he entrusts to us as opportunities to show his love and multiply the number of people who will enjoy him forever (see Matt. 25:14-21).

Six Relational Disciplines

From Genesis to Revelation, Scripture teaches us how to be faithful to God, discipline ourselves and serve the people around us.

This teaching may be summarized as six relational skills or disciplines: God-awareness and God-engagement, self-awareness and self-engagement, and other-awareness and other-engagement.

    If we neglect these disciplines, our lives are often characterized by aimlessness, shallow relationships and conflict. But when we cultivate these disciplines, we are more likely to enjoy deep friendships, intimate marriages, joyful parenting, fulfilling careers and, most importantly, a compelling witness for Christ.

    Training materials are also available in a “values-based” form that is suitable for use in businesses, hospitals, schools, military bases and other secular settings.

    Versatile Principles

    Relational wisdom is an “operating system for life” that is being used in churches, ministries, businesses, schools and seminaries around the world.

    Training Clients Include

    “Ken Sande challenges us to act redemptively in a culture of enmity and shows us how to do this in our relationships with one another.”

    Timothy George, Executive Editor, Christianity Today

    “The ripple effect of RW training, fueled by the Spirit, will be experienced by our ministry on a global scale for the gladness and glory of God.”

    Susie Rowan, Executive Director, Bible Study Fellowship

    “The Peacemaker is a rich source of practical, biblical guidance for resolving every type of conflict.”

    Tony Evans, Sr Pastor, Oakcliff Bible Church

    “Of people alive and writing today, I know of no more reliable guide for peacemaking in church and family than Ken Sande.”

    John Piper, Sr Pastor, Bethlehem Baptist Church

    “The Peacemaker shows how obedience to God’s Word can bring restoration in families, churches, workplaces, neighborhoods, and even prisons.”

    Chuck Colson, Founder, Prison Fellowship

    “RW360 provides an invaluable resource to everyone in the church who cares about healthier relationships.” ­

    Rankin Wilbourne, Sr Pastor, Pacific Crossroads Church

    “Our Marriage Ministry staff and volunteer leaders were inspired by the training on relational wisdom.”

    Gayle DiMartino, Marriage Ministry Director, Willow Creek Community Church

    “Ken has thought biblically and deeply about relationships. I urge everyone to take advantage of his seminars and materials.”

    Dr. John Frame, Professor, Reformed Theological Seminary

    “Peacemakers Are People Who Breathe Grace.

    Inspired by the gospel, they draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they bring his love, mercy, forgiveness, strength and wisdom to the conflicts of daily life.”

    From The Peacemaker

    Meet Our Team

    Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360. Trained as an engineer, lawyer and mediator, Ken has conciliated hundreds of family, business, church and legal conflicts. He teaches globally and has written numerous resources on building relationships and resolving conflict, including The Peacemaker, which has sold over 500,000 copies in twenty languages.

    Going Beyond Emotional Intelligence

    Relational wisdom is a God-centered, biblically-grounded, gospel-driven form of emotional intelligence.

    RW360 Blog

    Practical, biblical insights for developing stronger relationships, valued influence and a compelling witness.

    If Your Enemy Needs Electricity

    If Your Enemy Needs Electricity

    Rich, a dear friend of mine, had a horrible conflict with his neighbor, Cynthia. A property line dispute that began with debates in the back yard had evolved into heated arguments. Eventually Cynthia filed a lawsuit. As an attorney and trained conciliator, Rich felt...

    Defusing Explosive Meetings

    Defusing Explosive Meetings

    Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it was...

    100% Responsible

    100% Responsible

    When my wife was an elementary school counselor, students were often sent to her office because of conflict. As they told her their stories, many children would go to great lengths to paint themselves as victims and others as being to blame for the problem. Corlette...

    A Stolen Baby, $200M Lawsuit and an Astonishing Reconciliation

    A Stolen Baby, $200M Lawsuit and an Astonishing Reconciliation

    It's not often that pastoral counseling sets the stage for a kidnapping, a $200 million lawsuit and crying attorneys. But that is exactly what happened when Cindy and Clark went to their pastor for marriage counseling (names changed but story used by permission)....

    Web Based Training

    Study relational wisdom with your friends in an interactive, online group

    A Flexible, Convenient and Interactive Way to Learn

    Innovative, continuing-ed approved ways to build stronger relationships and “get upstream of conflict.

    Study Anywhere

    Study privately or with a group, using your computer, smartphone, tablet or a TV in your living room.


    Dynamic Learning

    Teaching and demo videos, Bible study, interactive discussions and online quizzes.


    Set Your Own Pace

    Work any time of the day or week at a pace that suits your schedule, with no pressure or deadlines.


    Skills for Real Life

    Practical exercises help you apply enhanced relational skills in your home, church and workplace.

    Grow Together!

    Improve the relational skills of your entire church, ministry, school or business

    Host A Webinar, Seminar or Group Study

    Our most popular live training formats are a 3-hour webinar and a 3-hour in-person seminar, both of which provide an introduction to the principles taught in our longer online course, Discovering Relational Wisdom 3.0.

    This CEU-approved training includes interactive teaching, demonstration videos, small group discussions and practical applications, with each student receiving a full scholarship to the entire online course. Instructor training fees range from $750 to $4,900, depending upon the instructor and type of event. Per student costs range from $15 to $49.

    This training is also available for group study via DVD, flash drive and web streaming for use in Sunday school and small groups. The eight lesson set includes teaching and demonstration videos, 10 study guides and summary pamphlets, and a Leader’s Guide.

    Christian Conciliation Service

    Resolving business, legal, family, church, ministry and school disputes

    Do You Need Help with Conflict?

    Our Certified RW Conciliators™ have been cross-trained in relational wisdom, biblical peacemaking and Christian conciliation. This combination of skills gives them the ability to provide biblically grounded conflict coaching, mediation and arbitration for marital, church, ministry, school, business and legal conflict.

    A Promise Worth Pursuing

    “Get wisdom, prize her highly, and she will exalt you” (Prov. 4:7-8).

    Apply Relational Wisdom to Every Area of Life

    Our teaching videos cover dozens of theological issues and practical life applications.

    Gospel Driven Peacemaking

    Resolving Everyday Conflict

    Living At Peace

    Start Setting an Example Today!

    “Practice these things, immerse yourself in them, so that all may see your progress” (1 Tim. 4:15).

    Action Steps

    Three ways below to begin improving your relational skills today … starting with a free smartphone app with hundreds of articles, videos and FAQs on relational wisdom and biblical peacemaking.