How to Lose an Airline Seat … and Win a Friend at the IRS
It’s never smart to offend someone who has discretionary authority over your life. Such as the ticket agent I watched as she juggled an overbooked flight. She was waiting for two couples who had confirmed seats but had not yet appeared at the gate. I was on standby and would not make the flight if […]
Curse or Consecrate
Three months before graduating from law school, I decided I did not want to be a lawyer. Two years of interning for a plaintiff’s attorney had shown me that the adversarial system brought out my worst characteristics: pride, aggressiveness and a compulsive desire to win arguments. Although many outstanding attorneys master these types of tendencies, […]
Stupidity of Bitterness
Indulging in bitterness is one of the most stupid things we ever do. How stupid is it? Well, think about it this way. Imagine that someone stabbed you in the arm with a knife, leaving it there. After he flees, you stare in horror at the knife, then in agony take the handle in your […]
If Your Enemy Needs Electricity
Rich, a dear friend of mine, had a horrible conflict with his neighbor, Cynthia. A property line dispute that began with debates in the back yard had evolved into heated arguments. Eventually Cynthia filed a lawsuit. As an attorney and trained conciliator, Rich felt guilty that he had been unable to resolve the conflict personally. […]
Seven Steps for Defusing Explosive Meetings
Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it was a staff meeting at the […]
100% Responsible
When my wife was an elementary school counselor, students were often sent to her office because of conflict. As they told her their stories, many children would go to great lengths to paint themselves as victims and others as being to blame for the problem. Corlette would listen patiently and carefully. After they made their […]
A Stolen Baby, $200M Lawsuit and an Astonishing Reconciliation
It’s not often that pastoral counseling sets the stage for a kidnapping, a $200 million lawsuit and crying attorneys. But that is exactly what happened when Cindy and Clark went to their pastor for marriage counseling (names changed but story used by permission). Click here for PDF version of this post After several meetings, the […]
Spanglish – The Secret of Being Influential
Today’s post features a 3-minute video clip that illustrates amazing relational wisdom, including empathy, self-control and the brilliant use of a single perceptive question that penetrates a teenage girl’s heart and changes the course of her life. These are the kinds of relational skills that can impact your friendships, improve your parenting, deepen your marriage […]
Five Ways to Bless Your Mother This Sunday
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you’re tired of doing the same “card and gift” routine, allow me to suggest something that will blow your mother (or your wife) away … something she will remember with glad tears for the rest of her life. Since she devoted much of her life to serving you and […]
Fighting to Save a Marriage
A friend of mine recently learned that his wife is having an affair and is planning to file for divorce. After Mark got over the initial shock, he sought my advice and prayers on how to respond to Lisa (not their real names). He is now fighting for his marriage with astonishing wisdom and strength. […]