Engineers and attorneys don’t beat around the bush when clients ask for advice. We’re paid to tell clients exactly what they should do to solve their problems. That worked well when I practiced as an engineer and a lawyer. My clients paid me by the hour, and the more quickly I told them what to do,
Two pastors who were seriously crossways with their leadership teams recently asked me for advice. One of them is back in his pulpit. The other left in disgrace. Although the first pastor had already resigned, he still wanted to learn how to be a peacemaker. By God’s grace, he has been fully restored to his
In 1982 I faced one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I was one year out of law school and just a month away from ending my clerkship for a federal judge in Billings, Montana. Lying before me were two very different career paths. The Crowley law firm offered me a position as
I’ve seen hundreds of terribly damaged relationships restored over the years. Whether the break was caused by adultery, embezzlement, broken contracts, wrongful termination or even physical or sexual abuse, I’ve seen God bring about amazing reconciliations again and again. But there’s one relationship that I’ve seldom seen restored. When pastors’ relationships with their leadership teams
One of the most traumatic experiences in life is to be forced out of Christian ministry. Although some of these painful experiences are triggered by theological differences, leadership deficits or moral failure, most of them are the result of relational conflicts that escalated to a crisis point and resulted in a forced exit. I have
When Andrew stepped into the pulpit to make his public confession, he feared it would shatter his image. It did … but not in the way he expected. He was certainly going against his instincts. Like most of us, he wanted to conceal, deny or minimize his guilt. This dynamic began with Adam and Eve
What do these people have in common? A 9-year-old boy hugging his father’s tombstone A detective who adopted two abused boys and then gained a wife A woman who forgave the man who killed her daughter A middle school quarterback who hit the brakes at the 1-yard line A single dad who adopted 5 siblings
By Ryan Ward, Director of Academic and Church Initiatives As happens all too often, City Churches’ rapid growth set them up for serious conflict, which led to multiple leadership resignations. (All names have been changed.) Pastor Todd was an outstanding preacher, but organizational leadership was not one of his strengths. This deficiency, along with a
Fear usually triggers one of three reactions: control, anger or withdrawal (the latter two actually being forms of the first). This is a key insight for improving both your self-awareness and your other-awareness: whenever you encounter control, anger, or withdrawal, it is usually a sign of fear, either in yourself or others. Once you understand
Cindy and Alicia, both seventeen, walked out of the mall after a fun afternoon of shopping. Just as they reached Cindy’s car in the parking lot, two young men drove by on motorcycles. One of them knew Cindy from school, so they stopped to talk. After a few minutes of casual chatter, one of the