The Most Compelling Kind of Influence
In 1997, Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt won Academy Awards for Best Actor and Actress for their roles in the romantic comedy, As Good As it Gets.* Throughout the movie, Helen Hunt demonstrates one of the most powerful ways to influence others. Before I describe her simple strategy (which you can use in your family, […]
Four Amazing Church Discipline Cases
I’ve been involved in dozens of church discipline cases, both as an elder in my church and as a conciliator assisting other churches. Some of these cases were handled so badly that they resulted in multi-million dollar lawsuits. But some of them were handled so well that they resulted in amazing repentance, reconciliation and rejoicing […]
Leadership Transitions: The Good, the Bad and the Clumsy
I’ve seen a lot of leadership transitions over the past thirty years as churches, ministries and businesses sought to pass the torch to the next generation. Like the characters in an old Clint Eastwood western, these transitions generally fell into one of three categories: The Good, the Bad, and the Clumsy (which often turned ugly). […]
Are You Relational or Informational?
Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God” through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging their […]
Lincoln’s Relational Wisdom
The current political climate, at both state and national levels, has highlighted the close connection between politics, pride and emotion. In an outward sense, every politician is constantly striving to build credibility, prestige and influence by highlighting his or her abilities and positions while connecting with the values and emotions of the audience. In […]
Reagan, Lincoln, RW and You
Study Ronald Reagan and Abraham Lincoln and you’ll learn a great deal about how to relate to your spouse, children, co-workers and the people in your church or ministry. Both men displayed their exceptional relational skills on the world stage. Lincoln led our country through the Civil War, the bloodiest period in our nation’s history. […]
7 Steps for Leaving a Church Wisely
I’ve talked with many people who left their churches. Some did it for valid reasons and made the transition wisely and graciously. Others were driven by pride, bitterness, or resentment, however, and their departures often caused considerable confusion and pain to others. If you or someone you know is ever considering such a move, here […]
Five Ways to Amaze People Who Leave Your Church
A few days ago, a woman told me a heartbreaking story about her pastor. Cindy was born and raised at First Church, and Pastor Smith’s teaching had laid the foundation for her faith (all names changed). He had been like a second father to Cindy, gently guiding her through many of the struggles of her […]
European Leadership Forum
This plenary address was made to 700 Christian leaders from throughout Europe at the European Leadership Forum in Wisla, Poland, in 2016. Download Teaching Outline: Life, Family, Ministry, and Witnessing Are All About Relationship
One Relationship that Is Rarely Restored
I’ve seen hundreds of terribly damaged relationships restored over the years. Whether the break was caused by adultery, embezzlement, broken contracts, wrongful termination or even physical or sexual abuse, I’ve seen God bring about amazing reconciliations again and again. But there’s one relationship that I’ve seldom seen restored. When pastors’ relationships with their leadership teams […]