Are You Teachable?
I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that there was one factor that usually made the difference between seeing either genuine reconciliation or […]
A Better Way to Handle Abuse
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits and divided congregations. As illustrated by the real-life abuse case described later in this post, when people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come forward, […]
Forgive Like Edison, or Better Yet, Jesus
Thomas Edison never claimed to be a Christian, but he did a better job of demonstrating forgiveness than many believers do. When Edison and his staff were developing the incandescent light bulb, it took twenty-four hours to manufacture a single bulb. One day he handed a new bulb to a young errand boy and asked […]
An Exciting New Partnership
I’m pleased to announce the formation of a new ministry partnership with Crossroads Resolution Group LLC. This relationship expands our ability to provide churches, ministries, and businesses with professional, biblically-grounded conflict resolution services. CRG is led by two gifted conciliators with whom I had the privilege to work while leading Peacemaker Ministries, who are now […]
Embarrassing Sin, Comforting Forgiveness
I recently sent out an impulsive and sin-tainted email to a group of people whom I dearly love. Two brothers quickly and gently confronted me. I then had the humbling experience of emailing a detailed confession to the same group of people. But the embarrassment I felt was worth the blessing of receiving this incredibly […]
Turning Assault into Reconciliation
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God did something amazing through a relationally wise pastor. I chronicled their story in […]
Peacemaking and The Good Wife
Nine million people will soon be introduced to biblical peacemaking through an hour-long television show called The Good Wife. The Good Wife is a prime time CBS legal and political drama. Its central character is a woman named Alicia Florrick (played by Julianna Margulies), whose husband, a former state attorney general, was jailed following a […]
Accountability: The Mark of a Wise and Protected Leader
Josh was slowly crumbling under a steady barrage of criticism. For a few weeks after he began as pastor, the people at his new church seemed friendly and supportive. But Josh soon discovered that many of them were perpetually dissatisfied. They constantly questioned his leadership and complained about weak sermons, unmet needs, or a lack […]
Face to Face and No Excuses
Someone on my team had blown it. Not ethically or morally. He had simply taken too long to complete some significant tasks, which put one of our clients in an awkward position in a mediation case. Our staff member’s attempts to apologize to the client seemed to fall on deaf ears. Since the “buck stops […]
If Your Enemy is Freezing
One night in the early years of our marriage, Corlette and I had such an intense disagreement that we went to bed unreconciled. Yes, we broke the command not to let the sun go down on our anger. As we lay there facing away from each other, a bizarre contest developed. Without either one of […]