We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”
But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.”
Not always, but usually. Because that’s how God made us.
I’ve seen this dozens and dozens of times in conciliation cases. Before they came to RW360, many parties had often spent hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars blaming the other person and vindicating themselves. But then, when just one party reverses course and focuses on his contribution to the problem, the other party almost always says, “Well hold on a minute; it’s not all your fault. Here’s what I did …” And then they start a whole new conversation that usually leads to peace and reconciliation.
Here is a short movie clip that illustrates this principle beautifully, while also providing a mysterious subplot and a totally unexpected ending (if the video screen does not appear below, click here).
This is relational wisdom and peacemaking 101. Blame others and they will usually blame you. Admit where you’ve been wrong, and you’ll be surprised how often others do the same.
Or to put it in RW terms … take a moment to practice self-awareness by asking yourself, “How do I want to be treated in this situation?” Then engage others by treating them exactly the same way.
This wisdom is sometimes found in a fortune cookie, but it can be traced to a far more dependable source:
“[Jesus] opened his mouth and taught them, saying … ‘Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets’” (Matt. 5:2, Matt. 7:12).
– Ken Sande
Reflection Questions
- When is the last time you personally saw the Golden Result in action? Did it produce a negative or positive result?
- Is there a situation in your life right now where this principle might improve a relationship? What have you got to lose?
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© 2025 Ken Sande
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