Alicia was born prematurely. Worse yet, she was born near the end of an exhausting NICU (newborn intensive care unit) shift. Two overworked nurses failed to properly connect the life support system in her incubator. As a result, little Alicia died just a few hours after she was born.
Recognizing their legal exposure, the hospital circled their wagons. They called in their attorneys, put the nurses on leave and waited for the lawsuit.
Of course Alicia’s parents were devastated. For several days all they could do was grieve the loss of their baby. Well meaning friends came to comfort them, and one of them pointed out that they had grounds for a major lawsuit against the nurses and the hospital.
As the parents prayed about the situation, however, they sensed that God was leading them down a different path. They somehow found out the names and addresses of the two nurses. Two weeks after Alicia passed away, they knocked on each of the nurses’ doors.
During both visits, the nurses immediately recognized the parents as soon as they opened their doors. Stunned and afraid, the walls went up. Both nurses said nearly the same thing: “I can’t talk with you. The attorneys have ordered me not to say anything to anybody about his situation.”
Each of the nurses then received the same response from these two young parents.
“You don’t need to say anything. We just want to tell you that we forgive you. We know that you didn’t do this on purpose. We know it was a terrible accident, and we don’t want you to carry this guilt the rest of your life.”
The walls came crashing down, and the tears flooded out.
“How can you forgive me? I killed your baby,” each of the nurses wept. The offer of forgiveness had opened the door for much needed confession.
After praying for God’s guidance for several days and seeking advice from their pastor, the parents had planned their next words carefully.
“We are Christians. We have sinned thousands and thousands of times against God and other people. But God has forgiven us by sending his Son to pay for all our sins by dying on a cross. Since he has forgiven us so much, we want to share that forgiveness with you.”
Amazed by such an astonishing display of grace, both nurses broke down in tears and fell into the arms of Alicia’s parents. Eventually both nurses found even deeper forgiveness and comfort by trusting in Christ as their Savior, and before long they were telling others about his love and forgiveness.
The parents did retain an attorney, but instead of demanding millions of dollars from the hospital, at their instruction he negotiated an agreement that focused on a rigorous review of the hospital’s NICU practices. This eventually led to a personal apology from the hospital leadership and comprehensive training and operational changes that would help to prevent similar tragedies in the future.
Some people later asked the parents if they hadn’t let the nurses and the hospital off too easily. After all, they could have probably won a settlement worth thousands of dollars.
Their typical response was to say, “No. We realized that no amount of money would bring Alicia back or bring healing to us. Our faith tells us that God brought Alicia into this world for a short but very special mission. She led two young nurses to find salvation in Christ, and they are now telling others about his love. The hospital has admitted its mistakes and has taken concrete steps to prevent similar failures. Even though our hearts still ache for our daughter, we find great comfort knowing that we will see her again soon in heaven, possibly surrounded by a crowd of people who came to know Jesus because of her.”
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An astonishing story, isn’t it? And entirely true.
I hope God will use it to inspire you to follow this couple’s example, just as they followed the example of Christ.
How can you do this? By praying that God would bring to mind one or more people who have wronged you and know they don’t deserve your forgiveness or may still be feeling guilty because of past offenses.
Seek those people out just as this young couple sought out the two nurses and reflect to others the amazing forgiveness you have received from God through Christ: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8).
Wouldn’t this be the most wonderful gift you could offer to others during this Christmas season … or any time of the year?
~ Ken Sande
PS: Would you like to be able to offer biblically grounded encouragement, support and advice to people going through crises like this one? If so, please take advantage of two online courses that will be available early in 2025: Introduction to RW Coaching (Jan. 7-9) and RW Coaching Skills (Feb. 4-6).
Reflection Questions
- What is your initial response to this story? Did you think this couple was too quick to forgive and should have made the hospital pay for its failures, or were you humbled by their example and inspired to be more forgiving to those who have wronged you? Which of these two courses of action do you want God to take in response to your sins?
- If this couple had come to you right after their baby’s death and asked you for advice, what would you have probably said to them? What would you say to them if they came to you today, after you’ve read this story?
- This story is a beautiful illustration of unconditional forgiveness, which can be a compelling way to reflect the forgiveness God offers to us through the gospel of Christ. But it is not always helpful or wise to offer forgiveness to others before they have repented of their wrongs (see Luke 17:3-4). So how do you know when to forgive like this and when to require the other person to demonstrate some measure of repentance? For a detailed discussion of this important question, as well as a discussion of when it is appropriate to expect restitution for wrongs done against you, read The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.
- What are some of the things that make it hard for you to forgive others? Could it be that you struggle with pride, self-pity or bitterness, or that you want others to grovel, suffer or prove their repentance? How can meditating on the forgiveness we have from God through Christ help you to be more forgiving? Here are some passages that may be of help: Ps. 103:2-3; Matt. 18:21-22; Mark 11:25; Luke 23:34; Col. 3:13).
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© 2024 Ken Sande
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