A while ago, I received a complaint from a woman who I will call Ruth (not her real name) regarding a video clip I used in one of my blog posts. The video is called "It’s Not about the Nail." It features a graphic metaphor built around a woman with a nail in her...
Build a Peace Sower Team in Your Church!
Moses made a major mistake that many church leaders are still making today. He tried to single-handedly resolve all of the relational tensions and conflicts among the people God had placed under his care. When his father-in-law saw what Moses was doing, he admonished...
The Best Way to Rewrite History
Jerry’s wife had filed for divorce. She was willing to mediate the legal issues but made it clear she had no interest in reconciliation. Ted had a similar problem with his church. Months of unresolved tensions had overflowed in a contentious elders meeting, with a...
Reconciled by a Baby Moose
After two painfully intense mediation sessions, Dave and Don were still miles apart and more bitter than ever. Best friends since high school, Don had hired Dave to manage his construction crews. Working long hours together, they built a highly successful company. But...
Reconciling Two Stubborn Scientists
How would you feel if God enabled you to use simple relational skills you learned in a Sunday school class to solve a million dollar problem for your employer? That’s exactly what a woman named Diane did when she stepped in to resolve an employee conflict that had...
A Wave of Confessions Saves a Church
At last he had his chance. Clutching his prepared statement in his hand, Mark sat down in the front pew, ready to get even with the elders (all names have been changed). Six months earlier they had refused to support his promotion to senior pastor. They had stood...
Daddy, is that you? (A Wedding Day Reconciliation)
Becky looked forward to her wedding with a mixture of excitement and sadness. Mark was the man of her dreams, and she was thrilled about becoming his wife. But there was another man she had thought about many times over the years, and his memory brought mostly pain...
Asking Parents to Give Up Their Keys
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was to ask my mother and my mother-in-law to give up their car keys. Doing it with each of them on the same day (since they both lived with us) was especially difficult. Our moms loved running their own errands, going out for...
20 Ways to Prevent and Resolve Conflict in the Church
The COVID crisis, combined with heightened racial and political tension, has triggered unprecedented conflict throughout our nation, as well as in the local church. Churches are literally dividing over masks, racial policies and political positions. As a result,...
To Mask or Not to Mask … That Is the Divisive Question
Masks are dividing churches all around the country. Some church members are willing to continue following government COVID-19 mandates to wear masks during worship services. But other members view masks as an intolerable interference in their worship of God and a...