This coming week, millions of people will be rejoicing or weeping as the latest political season comes to its climactic end.
The emotions that are now building to a crescendo will not dissipate quickly or harmlessly. Many family, workplace and church relationships will be further damaged and in some cases destroyed as heated emotions continue to flow like lava from volcano.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that you have a unique opportunity to minister to people whose lives and relationships are being profoundly impacted by these events.
Here are twenty-one biblical principles you can model and teach to others in these tumultuous times. These principles apply whether your candidates win or lose. Better yet, these principles can be used to respond contructively to any kind of controversial family, church or cultural issues.
Best of all, these principles can position you to give a compelling gospel testimony to those who have not yet found peace and security in the greatest Ruler of all times, our Lord Jesus Christ.
How to Win Graciously
If your candidate prevails, this will be an ideal time to practice the Golden Rule, that is, to treat others as you would want to be treated if your candidate had lost (Matt. 7:12). In other words …
Be humble. Don’t act like this was your personal accomplishment, for it is God who raises up leaders and deposes them (Dan. 2:20-21). As the checkered history of Israel’s kings reveals, God raises up good leaders to bless people and poor leaders to chastise them. Let us recognize that God is the ultimate mover in these events, and pray that our newly elected officials will prove to be the former kind of leader rather than the latter.
Be sensitive. Don’t celebrate your victory in the presence of those who are grieving. Quietly rejoice with those who share your views but be silent or subdued when talking with those who differ. It would be unkind and unloving to compound their sadness and grief.
Be compassionate. Rather than simply holding your tongue, ask God to give you genuine empathy and compassion for those who see the election as a personal and national catastrophe. Rather than dismissing their feelings out of hand, make a real effort to imagine how they are feeling … and then let that compassion move you engage them with gentleness and kindness (Col. 3:12-14; see Seven Steps to Empathy).
Be honest. Like every other person who has occupied a political office, our new leaders will have both strengths and weaknesses in both their competence and their character. Be honest about these facts and let them move you to reasonable conversation and constant prayer.
Be patient and gentle. Allow people time to grieve, to lament and to vent their disappointments, anger and fears. Don’t try to lecture or debate with them while their emotions are stirred up. Instead, apply the wisdom of Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (see Spanglish for a superb example of such patience, gentleness and wisdom).
Be discerning. If others lash out at you, remember that they are probably acting out of fear, not malice. Fear typically reveals itself in one of three ways: control, anger or withdrawal (see The Three Faces of Fear). Therefore, even if someone seems to be personally angry at you or rejecting you, choose to not take it personally and to do all you can to leave the door open between you … even if they are trying to slam it shut.
Seek Understanding and Agreement. If others press you to discuss political issues, seek first to establish a personal connection and understanding through sincere and non-threatening questions, such as: “Our relationship is important to me, therefore I want you to know that whether we agree on these issues or not, I will not break our relationship or cancel you. Would you make the same commitment to me?” or “This issue is obviously very important to you; would you please help me to understand why that is?” “What I hear you saying is …; am I understanding you correctly?” “I agree with you that our nation needs to do a better job of ____. What are some of the ways you think we could work together to do that?” (For detailed guidance on how to use reflecting, paraphrasing, and clarifying questions in a delicate conversation, see chapter 8 in The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict.)
Bless those who curse you. If others are harsh, unloving or unjust toward you, do not respond in kind. Instead, remember Jesus’ command to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28).
Above all, share the gospel. The responses described above will not be typical of many people who are unhappy with election outcomes. When others notice that you are responding in a remarkably different way to these events, you may have many opportunities to share the hope provided by the gospel and to describe how your character has been transformed since you put your trust in Christ. As 1 Pet. 3:15-16 teaches:
In your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
If the Lord uses your gracious behavior to open a door for sharing the gospel with others, one way to do so would be to walk them through RW360’s Transformed pamphlet, which provides simple gospel presentation and clear examples of how Jesus transforms our lives when we put our trust in him.
How to Lose Graciously
If your candidate does not prevail, this will be an ideal time for you too to practice the Golden Rule, that is, to behave in exactly the way you’d want others to behave if their candidate had lost (Matt. 7:12). In other words …
Trust God. Remember that God’s thoughts are higher than your thoughts and his ways are higher than your ways (Isa. 55:9). If he raises someone to power who you think is unqualified for the office, trust that God knows what he is doing (Dan. 2:20-21; Prov. 3:5-7). It could be that he intends to discipline us through poor leaders, or he may be planning to bless us in surprising ways through leaders who eventually exceed our expectations.
Choose your attitude. Viktor Frankl survived the horrors of Auschwitz but lost his entire family in the concentration camp. In spite of all the abuse and oppression he experienced, he had the wisdom to write, “The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude.” This principle of human freedom and responsibility is just as true today (see these examples). Whatever disappointments you experience in life, you still have the freedom to choose an attitude that enables you to move ahead hopefully and constructively.
Talk it out without taking it out. Instead of venting your emotions at people who might feel personally attacked, talk out your initial feelings with people who share your concerns … but who also have the maturity and wisdom to know when it’s time to move from sharing emotions to praying and discussing constructive responses.
Resist emotional hijacking. Intense emotions can overpower rational thinking and cause us to say and do things that we ultimately regret, a process that is often referred to as “amygdala hijacking.” To avoid damaging valuable relationships (and making yourself look foolish), practice the READ principle: Recognize and name your emotions, Evaluate their source, Anticipate the consequences of following them, and Direct them in a constructive course (for a detailed plan on how to master strong emotions, see Four Ways to Defeat Hijacking).
Take your fears to God. As mentioned above, fear typically reveals itself in one of three ways: control, anger or withdrawal (see The Three Faces of Fear). If you sense any of these tendencies in yourself, prayerful look behind them to identify the fears that are fueling them. Then take those fears to God in prayer, trusting that he will make good on his covenant promises: “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isa. 41:10).
Unplug. Social media can be like wood to a fire (Prov. 26:20). Every time you read another distressing Tweet, Instagram, Facebook comment or news report, you’ll keep your fears and anxieties burning. So give yourself a vacation. Turn off your feeds, silence your accounts and decompress for a few days. When you check back in a week or two, you’ll be amazed how much more objectively you can think about recent events.
Consecrate your concerns to God. When the Apostle Paul was chained in prison for his faith, he realized he had two choices. He could either curse those chains by complaining and doubting God’s goodness, or he could consecrate those chains to God. To consecrate something means to declare it sacred, to devote it irrevocably to the worship and service of God. Paul chose to consecrate his chains to Christ. Trusting that God was always working for his good (Phil. 1:18-21), Paul could sincerely pray, “This is your situation, my Lord. Show me how I can respond to it in a way that pleases and honors you.” You can imitate Paul by doing the same thing with your concerns about our country’s political situation (see Curse or Consecrate).
Channel your concerns into constructive action. Our country was founded on the shared vision that all people are created equal and endowed by God with the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” We’ve made great progress toward achieving that vision over the past two hundred years, but there is much left to do. Identify the areas that God seems to be calling you to address, and then do all you can to promote needed repentance and improvement (Isa. 1:17; Eccl. 9:10).
Share the gospel. The responses described above will not be typical of many people who are unhappy with election outcomes. When others notice that you are responding in a remarkably different way to these events, you may have many opportunities to share the hope provided by the gospel and to describe how your character has been transformed since you put your trust in Christ. As 1 Pet. 3:15-16 teaches:
In your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame.
If the Lord uses your gracious behavior to open a door for sharing the gospel with others, one way to do so would be to walk them through RW360’s Transformed pamphlet, which provides simple gospel presentation and clear examples of how Jesus transforms our lives when we put our trust in him.
Three Steps You Can Take Regardless of Election Results
Pray, Pray and Pray! Our country faces divisions and challenges that have been aggravated by months of political rhetoric that has been repeated and magnified by both sides. Therefore, this is a time to obey God’s command to pray earnestly for all of the people in our nation and especially for those who are in positions of political responsibility, even if you don’t agree with them (1 Tim. 2:1-2; Jer. 29:7; Rom. 13:1).
Among other things, we should pray that God would grant all of us, especially our leaders, repentance from sin, humility and deliverance from pride, genuine compassion for the disadvantaged, true and uniform justice, a reverent fear of God that moves each of us to obey his commands, and most of all, for the gospel to go forth with power.
In addition, we can pray for God to give all of our leaders the humility and wisdom that enabled Abraham Lincoln to guide our country through a dreadful civil war (see Lincoln’s Relational Wisdom) and enabled Ronald Reagan to lead us out of the Cold War, which threatened to annihilate human civilization (see Reagan, Lincoln, RW and You).
We desperately need such leadership today, so let us pray earnestly for God’s continued patience, mercy and grace as we seek to repent from our sins, learn from our mistakes and turn these distressing political events into an opportunity for mutual, God-honoring ministry.
Deepen Your Relational Skills. If you’d like to strengthen your ability to apply these kinds of relational skills in all areas of your life, I encourage you to take advantage of RW360’s online courses, Discovering Relational Wisdom and Relational Peacemaking, which you can pursue individually or with a group of friends who share your desire to respond to the challenges of life in a way that honors God. If you would like to study as a group, see our DRW Group Study Set and Relational Peacemaking Group Study Set.
Spread Relational Wisdom and the Gospel Itself Throughout Your Community. RW360’s PACE (Professional and Community Engagement) Program provides resources you can use to teach the principles of relational wisdom and peacemaking to secular audiences throughout your community. You could use these seminars can equip people through your community with skills that build heathy relationships, reduce conflict, encourage civil dialogue, promote business productivity and improve people’s ability to find common ground on controversial issues, skills much needed in today’s divisive and polarized climate.
This training is also designed to create opportunities for people to clarify their personal value systems by comparing a Christian worldview to alternative worldviews and to learn how the gospel of Christ can transform lives and promote peace and reconciliation. For more information, see:
If you think these principles would be of value to your family, friends, coworkers and church, please feel free to share this post as widely as possible over the next few days!
For more guidance on how to apply these principles, register for our October 29 Iron Sharpening Iron Webinar. If you miss the webinar, you can follow this link to access the recording of the webinar.
– Ken Sande
Reflection Questions
- If you feel like a winner after the recent election, try to put yourself in the shoes of those who feel like they lost. What emotions are they probably feeling? What events have contributed to those emotions?
- Which of the recommended steps above would be most helpful for you to take?
- If you feel like a loser after the recent election, what might you do today that you would regret six months from now? Where are you tempted to forget or doubt God? What good might God be planning to bring from these events?
- Which of the recommended steps above would be most helpful for you to take?
- Click here to listen to a related 48-minute podcast called Avoiding Next Door Politics
Permission to distribute: Please feel free to download, print, or electronically share this message in its entirety for non-commercial purposes with as many people as you like.
© 2022 Ken Sande
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