Gentle Shepherding for a Pregnant Teen
Tom called me for advice on how to deal with an 18-year-old church member, Tina, who was pregnant out of wedlock (names changed). Half of his elder board thought Tina should appear before them to confess her sin and demonstrate repentance. The other half did not want to see her shamed and suggested that she […]
Don’t Overlook Every Offense
A lot of leaders are being abruptly removed from their posts these days. Pastors, seminary presidents, ministry and business CEOs. In many cases, they were fired without warning. One day things seemed to be going along just fine, and then suddenly they were told that “the deacons (or elders, trustees, or directors) met yesterday and […]
Daddy, is that you? (A Wedding Day Reconciliation)
Becky looked forward to her wedding with a mixture of excitement and sadness. Mark was the man of her dreams, and she was thrilled about becoming his wife. But there was another man she had thought about many times over the years, and his memory brought mostly pain (all names have been changed). Becky’s father, […]
How to Resurrect a Dead Relationship
A young Christian couple came to my office just before Easter one year and asked me to mediate the legal issues of their divorce. The wife had been unfaithful, and their relationship had been shattered. They had argued, excused and blamed for a couple of weeks and finally given up hope that they could ever […]
A Wave of Confessions Saves a Church
At last he had his chance. Clutching his prepared statement in his hand, Mark sat down in the front pew, ready to get even with the elders (all names have been changed). Six months earlier they had refused to support his promotion to senior pastor. They had stood silently by when Mark was slandered in […]
The Three P’s of Satisfaction
It’s not often that an attorney loses a lawsuit, along with her two million dollar contingency fee, and yet walks away satisfied. I’ve seen similar satisfaction with employees who didn’t get a promotion. With church members who disagreed with their pastors. And with children who could not escape discipline. The relationship-saving concept in each of […]
Seven Steps for Defusing Explosive Meetings
Have you ever been in a meeting that was about to explode? You could feel the tension building with each person’s comments and knew it was just a matter of time before the dynamite went off. It might have been a conversation with your spouse or teenager. Maybe it was a staff meeting at the […]
Has Your Strength Become a Weakness?
To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our strengths into weaknesses, just as (-1) x 100 becomes -100. Are you highly intelligent and well-studied in the Bible? Look out, because your knowledge can puff you up […]
Using Relational Wisdom for Evangelism
How effective is your church in spreading the gospel in your community? Are you simply waiting for people to find their way to your church, or are you moving out into your community with a practical and winsome strategy for sharing the gospel and winning souls to Christ? David Mason, Pastor of Green Valley Church […]
Strike the Shepherd
Forced pastoral exits are costing the American church millions of dollars a year. The kingdom cost for these forced exits is far higher. Consider these sobering statistics[1]: 23 percent of all current pastors in the United States have been fired or forced to resign from past positions. The average pastoral tenure in a local church […]