RW Blog

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Habit Change Is a Team Project

By |February 8th, 2016|

Habits exert enormous influence in our lives. For better or worse, they guide most of our daily activities, guiding us automatically through routine behaviors (like brushing our teeth), which frees our minds to focus on issues that require deliberate thinking [...]

Immersed in Technology

By |February 4th, 2016|

As you may have noticed, I missed last week’s blog post … the first one in 160 weeks! Why? Because I’ve been immersed in all of the new electronic equipment and software that we’re bringing online in order to produce [...]

Idolatrous Habits

By |January 20th, 2016|

Many of our habits are spiritually neutral, such as the way we brush our teeth or the route we drive to work. Other life patterns clearly violate spiritual values, such as being addicted to drugs, alcohol or pornography, or reacting [...]

Conquering M&M’s (and Premature Advice)

By |January 11th, 2016|

My wife seemed to be testing my resolve. A month ago I decided that it was time to do battle with my love for candy. That meant not slipping into the pantry two or three times a day to raid [...]

Seven Principles of Habit Change

By |January 4th, 2016|

I was sitting on the patio of an expensive restaurant in Beirut. Six young Lebanese were sitting at the table next to us, glued to their smart phones. Not a word of conversation between them for minutes on end, a [...]

Do You Want to Change Your Habits?

By |December 28th, 2015|

A five year-old child was sitting alone in a room with a marshmallow placed a few inches in front of her. She was told that she could eat it immediately, but if she waited just fifteen minutes, she would be [...]

RW Pastor of the Year

By |December 20th, 2015|

I’d like to introduce you to David Mason, our 2015 RW Pastor of the Year. This award goes to a pastor who has shown exceptional energy, creativity and effectiveness in teaching and practicing relational wisdom in his community. David is [...]

Can You Read Faces?

By |December 13th, 2015|

My first job out of law school was to clerk for a federal judge. He served on appellate courts around the country, so we often traveled together. One week I left early so I could attend a Christian Legal Society [...]

Building Momentum

By |December 6th, 2015|

By God’s grace, we have built marvelous momentum this year on multiple fronts … and we need your help to keep it going. Corlette and I delivered 25 seminars and presentations in the last three months alone (see our entire [...]

Never Give Up

By |November 29th, 2015|

One of the greatest heartbreaks a parent can experience is to be estranged from an adult child … which usually means losing contact with beloved grandchildren as well. That’s what happened to Karen when she offended her daughter, Debra, with [...]

33 Ways to Enjoy Highly Relational Holidays

By |November 22nd, 2015|

If you're like most people, the coming holiday season will be either the best time of the year or the worst time of the year ... and it will probably depend on the quality of your relationships. To help you [...]

If Your Enemy Is Hungry …

By |November 15th, 2015|

When I graduated from college, I was hired by a medical R&D company that was developing an advanced kidney dialysis machine. Within one year I was promoted to serve as the project manager. That’s when the trouble started … Within [...]

Papa, Clean Me!

By |November 8th, 2015|

When he was two-and-half-years-old, my grandson, Andrew, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and [...]

Falsely Accused

By |November 1st, 2015|

I often warn people that when they start studying relational wisdom, God is likely to give them homework. That’s what happened last week to a young woman I’ll call “Susan” (all names changed), who just shared this story with me. [...]

Bridge of Spies

By |October 25th, 2015|

Bridge of Spies is one of the most inspirational movies I’ve seen in years. It reminds me why I went to law school -- I had a love for justice, a respect for the biblical roots of the U.S. legal [...]

Are You Teachable?

By |October 18th, 2015|

I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that [...]

The Two Treasures

By |October 11th, 2015|

My mother-in-law lived with our family for twenty years. For six of those years, my mother also lived with us. Corlette and I called them “the Two Treasures.” Lois (my mother) and Thelma In all the years they [...]

My Wife’s Punch List Was Driving Our Son Crazy

By |October 4th, 2015|

During the last months of my son’s senior year in high school, Jeff had a lot of conflict with his mother. As a result I was doing more mediation at home than I was through my conciliation ministry. Night after [...]

Magnificent Compassion at McDonalds

By |September 27th, 2015|

Last week a young McDonald's fast-food worker named Kenny provided a magnificent example of compassion. His selfless act was described by Destiny Carreno, whose report has been viewed over 2.3 million times on Facebook and other social media. Here is [...]

Good News on Teaching Marathon

By |September 26th, 2015|

Corlette and I are deeply grateful for the many prayers that upheld us during our recent 17-day “teaching marathon” in Florida, Virginia and Alabama (Oct. 6-22, 2015). By God’s grace, all 17 presentations—which included three Discovering RW Seminars, a seminary [...]

Lawyer vs Teacher

By |September 20th, 2015|

I'm not a fun person to argue with. When my pride kicks in, I find it all too easy to use my legal training to cross examine others and back them into a corner with leading questions. As you can [...]

Four Ways to Pursue God

By |September 14th, 2015|

I fell in love with Jesus during law school. It wasn’t because law school was so difficult; it was because Jesus is so wonderful. Thanks to my mother, I’d known about Jesus all my life. But I didn't really know [...]

The World’s Best GPS

By |September 7th, 2015|

How much do you trust God? Really? Do you trust him as much as a blind teenage racer trusts her seeing-eye dog? Sami Stoner lost her eyesight just as she entered the eighth grade. She had to face the fact [...]

Why Scare My Wife?

By |August 30th, 2015|

Corlette and I have very different depth perception. A car that I see as being a hundred feet away she sees as being a hundred inches away. So when I’d make a left turn with a car coming towards us [...]

Relationally Wise Pastoral Care

By |August 24th, 2015|

One of the greatest blessings of my recent time in South Africa was seeing how quickly people were applying relational wisdom to vital life issues, such as social injustice, racism, family disintegration, church leadership and evangelism. I was especially impressed [...]

RW in South Africa

By |August 16th, 2015|

I’m writing this post from Cape Town, South Africa, where I’ve been exploring ways to apply relational wisdom to some of the most challenging issues people can face. My first three days were spent teaching at a conference sponsored by [...]

Politics, Pride and Emotion

By |August 8th, 2015|

The first 2015 presidential debate highlighted the close connection between politics, pride and emotion. In an outward sense, each of the candidates was striving to build credibility, prestige and support by highlighting his or her abilities and connecting with the [...]

Five Ways to Weave RW into Your Life

By |August 2nd, 2015|

Last week I had the privilege of reading how one of our newest Approved Presenters has been applying relational wisdom with dozens of people, including his indecisive wife, a challenging grandson, two tense business partners, and long-term clients who had [...]

You Can Host an RW Seminar

By |July 27th, 2015|

Would you like to improve the relational dynamics in your church, ministry or business? If so, I encourage you to host a Discovering Relational Wisdom Seminar as soon as possible. As reported by former students, the benefits of this training [...]

A Better Way to Handle Abuse

By |July 20th, 2015|

Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse [...]