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Seven Benefits of a Smile

Seven Benefits of a Smile

My daughter, Megan, was eighteen months old when she decided to test her smile on an angry looking biker. Just before a vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, she had learned what a fun response she could get from adults when she beamed a big smile and gave them an...

Gentle Shepherding for a Pregnant Teen

Gentle Shepherding for a Pregnant Teen

Tom called me for advice on how to deal with an 18-year-old church member, Tina, who was pregnant out of wedlock (names changed). Half of his elder board thought Tina should appear before them to confess her sin and demonstrate repentance. The other half did not want...

The Golden Result

The Golden Result

We all know the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” But do you know the Golden Result? It’s a direct corollary to the Golden Rule: “Other people will usually treat you the way you treat them.” Not always, but usually. Because that’s how God...

Political Strife Is an Opportunity

Political Strife Is an Opportunity

Our country is currently embroiled in a time of intense political and cultural conflict, which is so painfully revealed in the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk. Each of us is can play one of three roles as we respond to these events. We can add fuel to the fire...

Reputation vs Character

Reputation vs Character

Jim's reputation was being trashed by people in his own church. He was respected throughout the city for his outstanding Sunday school classes, which had drawn hundreds of people to his church. But then he got caught in the middle of a congregational battle over the...

Don’t Overlook Every Offense

Don’t Overlook Every Offense

A lot of leaders are being abruptly removed from their posts these days. Pastors, seminary presidents, ministry and business CEOs. In many cases, they were fired without warning. One day things seemed to be going along just fine, and then suddenly they were told that...

Are You Velcro or Teflon?

Are You Velcro or Teflon?

Kelly can be one of the best friends in the world. She’s thoughtful, caring, and always eager to encourage and serve others. The people in her Bible study and small group always look forward to seeing her, and her coworkers think she is one of the most pleasant people...

Three Steps to Building Relational Passports

Three Steps to Building Relational Passports

I have dozens of passports, and I need to renew them constantly. No, I’m not James Bond or Jason Bourne. I don’t fly from country to country using alternative identities to evade the NSA, CIA, or MI6. I just love people. I enjoy meeting, understanding, encouraging and...

7 Ways to Free Your Child From Impulsive Lying

7 Ways to Free Your Child From Impulsive Lying

Here is a question I am often asked during RW seminars: “My four-year old daughter has a habit of lying to us about her sinful behavior. For example, if we find her standing near a wall covered with crayon marks, and she is still holding crayons in her hand, she will...

Overcoming Rejection

Overcoming Rejection

There are three things you and I were never designed to experience: illness, death and rejection. That is why these experiences feel so foreign and hurt so much: they are utterly contrary to what we were made for. When God created the world, everything in it was “very...

How to Resurrect a Dead Relationship

How to Resurrect a Dead Relationship

A young Christian couple came to my office just before Easter one year and asked me to mediate the legal issues of their divorce. The wife had been unfaithful, and their relationship had been shattered. They had argued, excused and blamed for a couple of weeks and...

Reconciling Two Stubborn Scientists

Reconciling Two Stubborn Scientists

How would you feel if God enabled you to use simple relational skills you learned at church to solve a million dollar problem for your employer? That’s exactly what a woman named Diane did when she stepped in to resolve an employee conflict that had stumped her...

Asking Parents to Give Up Their Keys

Asking Parents to Give Up Their Keys

One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was to ask my mother and my mother-in-law to give up their car keys. Doing it with each of them on the same day (since they both lived with us) was especially difficult. Our moms loved running their own errands, going out for...

A Wave of Confessions Saves a Church

A Wave of Confessions Saves a Church

At last he had his chance. Clutching his prepared statement in his hand, Mark sat down in the front pew, ready to get even with the elders (all names have been changed). Six months earlier they had refused to support his promotion to senior pastor. They had stood...