After mediating hundreds of divorces, lawsuits, forced pastoral exits and church splits, I have learned that these types of conflicts usually involved one or more parties who lacked three critical character qualities: humility, teachability and flexibility. To put it...
A friend of mine recently learned that his wife is having an affair and is planning to file for divorce. After Mark got over the initial shock, he sought my advice and prayers on how to respond to Lisa (not their real names). He is now fighting for his marriage with...
A young couple came to my office just before Easter one year and asked me to mediate the legal issues of their divorce. The wife had been unfaithful, and their relationship had been shattered. They had argued, excused and blamed for a couple of weeks and finally given...
Jerry’s wife had filed for divorce. She was willing to mediate the legal issues but made it clear she had no interest in reconciliation. Ted had a similar problem with his church. Months of unresolved tensions had overflowed in a contentious elders meeting, with a...
Years ago I completed a particularly sad divorce mediation. The husband had tried for years to meet his wife’s expectations, but she was adept at finding fault with everything he did. Shortly after our final meeting, I read an article in Country Magazine in which M.G....
Mom’s Night Out (not to be confused with Bad Moms) provides some superb examples of relational wisdom … especially by a big, tattooed biker. The movie involves three mothers who decide they need a night away from their kids. In order to enjoy high heels, adult...
I received a lot of positive feedback on last week's post about a pastor who admitted his need for physical rest, spiritual renewal and relational retooling. One of the most insightful responses came from a different pastor's wife, who described how both she and her...
I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that...
Corlette and I have very different depth perception. A car that I see as being a hundred feet away she sees as being a hundred inches away. So when I’d make a left turn with a car coming towards us in the opposite lane, she would tense up, grab the door handle, and...
Corlette and I are in Jackson, Wyoming, today celebrating 30 years of marriage. We took this "selfie" at the end of a hike around Jenny Lake, one of the most beautiful places in Teton National Park ... almost as beautiful as my bride! Later this morning we plan to...