Ken Sande, Author at Relational Wisdom | Ken Sande | Biblical Emotional Intelligence | Peacemaking | Institute Christian Conciliation | Reconciliation

Posts Posts by: "Ken Sande"

I’ve been involved in dozens of church discipline cases, both as an elder in my church and as a conciliator assisting other churches. Some of these cases were handled so badly that they resulted in multi-million dollar lawsuits. But some of them were handled so well that they resulted in amazing repentance, reconciliation…(Read More)

As I watched the George Floyd memorial service this afternoon, I was grieved more than ever by his tragic death, the loss that his family is feeling, and by the fact that thousands of people continue to feel deep pain and fear because of the ongoing racial, social and cultural tensions in our land. These…(Read More)

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you’re tired of doing the same “card and gift” routine, allow me to suggest something that will blow your mother (or your wife) away … something she will remember with glad tears for the rest of her life. Since she devoted much of her life to serving you…(Read More)



We are surely living in unprecedented times! Who would have ever thought that churches, businesses, schools and parks throughout the world would be void of activity, and that people would be quarantined in their homes to slow the spread of a deadly virus? And yet, here we are. But what wonderful stories of sacrifice and…(Read More)

The stress on healthcare workers is increasing exponentially as the COVID-19 pandemic spreads around the world. Even in the best of times, healthcare workers face a multitude of relational, emotional and physical challenges, including compassion fatigue, emotional exhaustion, moral distress, conflict with peers and administrators, long and erratic hours, family disruption and eventual burnout…(Read More)

Our country is blessed every day by over two million men and women who serve in our military. In addition to protecting our nation from outside threats, many of these men and women wrestle with personal challenges that reduce their military readiness and resilience and all too often escalate into divorce or suicide. God has…(Read More)

Would you like to move beyond superficial conversation during your Thanksgiving gathering this year? Would you like to connect deeply with your family and friends and hear them share stories about the most meaningful people and events of their lives? If so, give each of your guests a copy of these ten questions and watch…(Read More)

Including New Group-Study DVD Sets! During a seminar in southern California, a business owner volunteered that he was “successfully failing in his business.” He explained that he employed over a hundred people in a thriving company, which enabled him to provide his employees with excellent wages, benefits and opportunities for career advancement. Even so…(Read More)

Washington DC is an interesting place, to say the least. Politics, power, money … countless temptations, continual controversy … and thousands of people whom God has graciously called to serve as salt and light in our nation’s capital. I was privileged to meet fifty of those people the first morning of my recent visit to…(Read More)

Over the next few days, I will have the privilege of presenting relational wisdom to congressional and military leaders in our nation’s capital. I’m both humbled and excited about this opportunity to share the wisdom principles of God’s Word with men and women who have devoted their lives to serving our nation…(Read More)

You’re in for a treat today. Humphrey Bogart is providing an unforgettable example of relational wisdom. His platform is Casablanca, a movie that has consistently ranked as one of the greatest films of all time. The movie is set in Morocco, shortly after the beginning of World War II. Bogart plays the role of…(Read More)

Articles on EI/EQ


This is a representative sample of the thousands of articles on the internet regarding emotional intelligence, also known as EI or EQ (emotional quotient), in a wide variety of venues, including the workplace, sales, education, healthcare, the military, politics, and diplomacy. Here are the categories of articles: Key Studies of EI History of EI EI…(Read More)

RW360 provides two different courses on the fundamental principles of relational wisdom. Exploring Relational Wisdom 3.0 is a “values-based” course designed for people who embrace a secular worldview. Discovering Relational Wisdom 3.0 is a “faith-based” course designed for people who embrace a Christian worldview. (For more information on different worldviews, see…(Read More)

Papa, Clean Me!


When he was two-and-half-years-old, my grandson, Andrew, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles, he of course felt an irresistible desire to step on it and squish it around. Not liking the odor, he walked across the…(Read More)

Gracious Eyes


Years ago I completed a particularly sad divorce mediation. The husband had tried for years to meet his wife’s expectations, but she was adept at finding fault with everything he did. Shortly after our final meeting, I read an article in Country Magazine in which M.G. Creight described her husband with wonderfully warm…(Read More)

Do you have an enemy today? Someone who has has done you great harm or is out to get you right now? Perhaps it’s not been quite that bad. Perhaps someone has simply spoken critically to you or about you, or has otherwise disappointed or failed you in a hurtful way. How are you…(Read More)

This Sunday is Mother’s Day. If you’re tired of doing the same “card and gift” routine, allow me to suggest something that will blow your mother (or your wife) away … something she will remember with glad tears for the rest of her life. Since she devoted much of her life to serving you…(Read More)

I’ve hired many people … and fired only a few. My best co-workers thrived because of three key character qualities. The disappointing ones struggled because they lacked the very same qualities. I’ve noticed an identical dynamic in friendships, marriages and ministries, all of which either thrived or withered to the degree that people…(Read More)

If you have completed the online course, Discovering Relational Wisdom 3.0, you may request a “Pay-It-Forward Scholarship” that you may give to a friend who can use it to receive a 50% discount when registering for the course. To request your scholarship, please use the form below. The scholarship code will be…(Read More)

Years ago, one of my clients was in the hospital with only hours to live. He had no interest in seeing his stock portfolio one more time. Although he had spent most of his life focused on work and wealth, with death hovering at the door, dollars meant nothing. He had only one thing on…(Read More)

RW for Families


Discovering Relational Wisdom 3.0 is an interactive online course that both parents and children can use to develop relational skills that enable them to “get upstream of conflict” and enjoy a more a peaceful and productive family life. This training has been promoted by many family and school oriented organizations, including Focus on the…(Read More)



Unplanned is one of the most powerful movies I’ve seen in years. It’s the true story of Abby Johnson, one of the youngest Planned Parenthood directors in the U.S. She rationalized her work for years, even while sitting in church. But then one day she was asked to assist in an abortion…(Read More)

I’ve seen a lot of leadership transitions over the past thirty years. Like the characters in an old Clint Eastwood western, they generally fell into one of three categories: The Good, the Bad, and the Clumsy (which often turned ugly). Bad Transitions Bad transitions usually involved one or more players with malicious motives. Like…(Read More)

To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our strengths into weaknesses, just as (-1) x 100 becomes -100. Are you highly intelligent and well-studied in the Bible? Look out, because your knowledge can puff…(Read More)

  Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books. They pride themselves on their sound doctrine. They come alive in the pulpit as they proclaim “the wisdom of God” through carefully-crafted sermons. But when it comes to engaging…(Read More)

Preventing a Breach


I learned the hard way how easy it is to breach a dam. When I was fourteen, my dad hired a contractor to enlarge a stock pond on our ranch by building a dam. It was ten feet high and thirty feet thick at its base. As the pond filled, we discovered that the dirt…(Read More)

No Excuses


I failed a friend. Badly. No, not just badly … very badly. It took me a while to face it. When I finally realized what I’d done, embarrassment kept me from going to talk with him right away. So now I was doubly wrong. Failed to support him, and failed to admit it even when…(Read More)

A week ago today, I had the privilege of teaching relational wisdom to our Montana State Legislators and their staffs. I was warmly welcomed by every person I met as I walked into the House Chamber. More importantly, many people came up afterwards to express their appreciation for the concepts and illustrations I shared during…(Read More)