Marriage
Gracious Eyes

Gracious Eyes

Years ago I completed a particularly sad divorce mediation. The husband had tried for years to meet his wife’s expectations, but she was adept at finding fault with everything he did. Shortly after our final meeting, I read an article in Country Magazine in which M.G....

Three Qualities that Improve Every Relationship

Three Qualities that Improve Every Relationship

I’ve hired many people … and fired only a few. My best co-workers thrived because of three key character qualities. The disappointing ones struggled because they lacked the very same qualities. I’ve noticed an identical dynamic in friendships, marriages and...

The Best Way to Rewrite History

The Best Way to Rewrite History

Jerry’s wife had filed for divorce. She was willing to mediate the legal issues but made it clear she had no interest in reconciliation. Ted had a similar problem with his church. Months of unresolved tensions had overflowed in a contentious elders meeting, with a...

Pastors’ Wives Can Burn Out Too

Pastors’ Wives Can Burn Out Too

I received a lot of positive feedback on last week's post about a pastor who admitted his need for physical rest, spiritual renewal and relational retooling. One of the most insightful responses came from a different pastor's wife, who described how both she and her...

Are You Teachable?

Are You Teachable?

I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that...

Why Scare My Wife?

Why Scare My Wife?

Corlette and I have very different depth perception. A car that I see as being a hundred feet away she sees as being a hundred inches away. So when I’d make a left turn with a car coming towards us in the opposite lane, she would tense up, grab the door handle, and...

Celebrating 30 Years Together

Celebrating 30 Years Together

Corlette and I are in Jackson, Wyoming, today celebrating 30 years of marriage. We took this "selfie" at the end of a hike around Jenny Lake, one of the most beautiful places in Teton National Park ... almost as beautiful as my bride! Later this morning we plan to...

Manipulative Double Messages

Manipulative Double Messages

One of the most effective ways to undermine a relationship is to use double-messages to manipulate other people. This all-too-common process was perfectly illustrated in a recent edition of Baby Blues, one of my favorite cartoon strips. Wanda has clearly mastered the...

If Your Enemy is Freezing

If Your Enemy is Freezing

One night in the early years of our marriage, Corlette and I had such an intense disagreement that we went to bed unreconciled. Yes, we broke the command not to let the sun go down on our anger. As we lay there facing away from each other, a bizarre contest developed....

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