Most homeschooling families struggle far more with relational challenges than they do with academic training. Put several sinful people together in the same home 24/7, and the resulting relational tensions can easily eclipse educational issues, sidetrack lesson plans and even strain marriages.
Conflict can also infect homeschool co-ops and study groups, where differing personalities, priorities and theological emphases can sow seeds of discord and even destroy friendships.
RW360 has developed two online courses that any family can use to reduce conflict and strengthen relationships, while simultaneously equipping their children with relational skills that improve academic performance, promote healthy friendships, enhance future job performance and career advancement and deepen their ability to build stable, life-long marriages.
- Discovering Relational Wisdom is an 8-lesson online course that both parents and children can use to learn a God-centered, biblically-grounded and gospel-driven form of emotional intelligence that enables them to deepen their relational skills and “get upstream of conflict.”
- Relational Peacemaking is a 12-lesson course that teaches principles of conflict resolution that have been used to resolve lawsuits, stop divorces, cure church splits and reconciling warring tribes in Africa.
- Both of these courses have been promoted by many family oriented organizations, including Focus on the Family, Veritas Press, Classical Conversations and the Homeschool Legal Defense Association. Normally priced at $49/person (for groups), they are available to students at a 50% discount.
Before you go on, please take just a few minutes to go back to the second bulleted sentence above and read the four peacemaking examples. And then imagine how different your children’s lives would be if they learned these kinds of relational skills early in life.
Preparing Children for Life provides a further perspective on the benefits of teaching relational wisdom and peacemaking to your children. As families develop these skills, they can experience seven major benefits:
- Develop the habit of engaging your children with the gospel rather than condemnation (see Penetrating Barriers)
- Diminish the regrets that result from losing patience and speaking harshly toward your children (see Four Ways to Defeat Hijacking).
- Respond with compassion instead of judgment when your children make foolish choices (see Spanglish and The Compassionate Boxer)
- Avoid the grief of raising emotionally stunted boys
- Develop empathy and thoughtfulness in your marriage (see Why Scare My Wife?)
- Prepare children to launch into college with healthy relational skills (see See Overcoming Artificial Maturity with Relational Wisdom)
- Teach your children relational skills that enable them to experience superior job interviews*, work performance and career advancement. (*High school students who complete Discovering Relational Wisdom will receive a “Certificate in Enhanced Relational Wisdom,” which will enhance their resumes and increase their ability to secure college scholarships and compete more successfully for their future dream jobs (see Emotional Intelligence for College and Beyond – Supporting Articles).
Transformed Pamphlet
RW360’s Transformed Pamphlet is one of the simplest and most powerful tools families can use to begin weaving the principles of relational wisdom and peacemaking into their classrooms. These pamphlets may be purchased through RW360’s Bookstore, and the related free Bible study study can be downloaded through this link. Whenever tensions or conflict begin to rise in the home, simply pull out the pamphlet and review its hopeful teaching together on the way the gospel can transform how we relate to one another. Ten minutes with this pamphlet can lower tensions and blood pressure and get the team back on the same learning road together.
Defusing Explosive Homeschool Meetings
Homeschool parents are typically strong-willed, determined and resolute with their convictions and goals. These are great qualities when it comes to persevering through the challenges of homeschooling. But sin can easily convert these strengths into weaknesses when parents are at odds or conflict infects a homeschool co-op or study group. To prevent conflict from damaging these precious relationships, review these principles every time you’re about engage in a tense or delicate conversation: Redeeming Your Weaknesses and Defusing Explosive Meetings.
Age of Students
Discovering Relational Wisdom and Relational Peacemaking are interactive online courses that parents and children can take together. Although the key principles and demonstration videos are simple enough for ten-year-olds to understand, we suggest that parents register themselves for the course and go through a couple of lessons to decide which of their children are mature enough to benefit from this training.
The most productive way to take the course if for each parent and child to register for the course so they can work through the videos, quizzes and web-based exercises themselves. Each person needs to register with his or her own email address.
Children who are too young to work through the course on their own can instead sit and observe with one of their parents or siblings as they work through the videos and application exercises.
~ Ken Sande
Reflection Questions
- If you are a parent, you may be thinking, “I’d love to teach these concepts to my children, but there’s just no time or space in our lesson plan to do this.” If so, consider how much time is taken up each week addressing misbehavior, relational tensions or conflict? Then remember this ageless wisdom principle: “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
- Of all the skills you could teach your son today, which ones is your future daughter-in-law likely to thank you for: math, grammar or biology … or how to manage anger, confess his wrongs, read her emotions and sincerely forgive her when she blows it? This question is not intended to denigrate the importance of traditional academics, but rather to highlight the fact that relational skills are equally worthy of our attention.
- Which of the relational skills mentioned in this blog do you wish you had learned earlier in your life? What price has your family paid for your weakness in these areas? How would your children’s lives and future families be different if you helped them to develop these skills today?
- Are there people in your homeschooling group or church who have not learned these types of relational skills? How has that impacted your groups’ or church’s relationships and witness?
- If you would like to help your group grow in these skills, feel free to share this blog post with them. When doing so, however, be sure to exercise relational wisdom. Instead of hinting, “Some of you really need to learn these skills,” clearly communicate “These are skills I really want to develop in my life and in my children’s lives. I’d love to have some other families join us in this journey.”
- If you would like to have an Advanced RW Instructor provide some initial teaching to your group or network, please use this form to let us know so we can work with you to find an appropriate speaker.
Permission to distribute: Please feel free to download, print, or electronically share this message in its entirety for non-commercial purposes with as many people as you like.
© 2025 Ken Sande
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