It’s not often that an attorney loses a lawsuit, along with her two million dollar contingency fee, and yet walks away satisfied. I’ve seen similar satisfaction with employees who didn’t get a promotion. With church members who disagreed with their pastors. And with...
A Stolen Baby, $200M Lawsuit and an Astonishing Reconciliation
It's not often that pastoral counseling sets the stage for a kidnapping, a $200 million lawsuit and crying attorneys. But that is exactly what happened when Cindy and Clark went to their pastor for marriage counseling (names changed but story used by permission)....
Reconciling Two Stubborn Scientists
How would you feel if God enabled you to use simple relational skills you learned at church to solve a million dollar problem for your employer? That’s exactly what a woman named Diane did when she stepped in to resolve an employee conflict that had stumped her...
Blind Optimism Can Be Dangerous
Churches and ministries (as well as married couples) could learn a vital lesson from the U.S. State Department. Chip Zimmer, our ministry’s Vice President, worked for the State Department from 1990-2001, serving in diplomatic posts in Africa and Latin America. In...
Are You Teachable?
I’ve been in the middle of hundreds of conflicts. Divorces, custody battles, business lawsuits, forced pastoral exits, church splits, nonprofit disintegrations … you name it, I’ve seen Christians fight over it. After many long and difficult mediations, I learned that...
A Better Way to Handle Abuse
Sexual abuse in the church does not have to end in broken lives, agonizing lawsuits, and divided congregations. When people follow God’s ways and words, these terrible incidents can result in healing, justice, and healthier churches. When victims of abuse first come...
An Exciting New Partnership
I’m pleased to announce the formation of a new ministry partnership with Crossroads Resolution Group LLC. This relationship expands our ability to provide churches, ministries, and businesses with professional, biblically-grounded conflict resolution services. CRG is...
Embarrassing Sin, Comforting Forgiveness
I recently sent out an impulsive and sin-tainted email to a group of people whom I dearly love. Two brothers quickly and gently confronted me. I then had the humbling experience of emailing a detailed confession to the same group of people. But the embarrassment I...
Turning Assault into Reconciliation
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship had deteriorated so badly that one brother nearly assaulted his siblings with a baseball bat. But then God...
Accountability: The Mark of a Wise and Protected Leader
Josh was slowly crumbling under a steady barrage of criticism. For a few weeks after he began as pastor, the people at his new church seemed friendly and supportive. But Josh soon discovered that many of them were perpetually dissatisfied. They constantly questioned...