I Believe in You!
My heart is glad every time I receive an email or phone call from my dear friend, Mart Green. It’s partly because he’s always praising God for how he’s moving...
Blending Hard Skills and Soft Skills in Europe
Paul is the pastor of a church and a professor at a seminary in Central Europe … yet he is struggling to forgive a former elder who turned on him three years...
Battleground Europe
I’m sending this post from Wisla, Poland, where Chip Zimmer and I are teaching at the European Leadership Forum. ELF has gathered 700 evangelical leaders from...
Wired to Worry, Equipped to Preach
A friend may be writing a letter to me that I might not like. Although we’ve talked repeatedly, there are tensions between us that are still not resolved....
Your Amazing Brain
When a pastor steps into a pulpit, he usually has two general goals in mind: to change the way people think and to change the way they behave. The pivotal...
Going Global
Relational turmoil is undermining the witness of Christians all around the world. Family strife and divorce, church splits, workplace conflict, lawsuits...
Breathe Grace
Highly relational people love to breathe grace. They draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they breathe his love, kindness and...
An Exciting New Partnership
I’m pleased to announce the formation of a new ministry partnership with Crossroads Resolution Group LLC. This relationship expands our ability to provide...
Have You Ever Been This Kind?
When was the last time you did something that was so amazingly kind that others will remember your actions the rest of their lives? If it’s been awhile, I...
Manipulative Double Messages
One of the most effective ways to undermine a relationship is to use double-messages to manipulate other people. This all-too-common process was perfectly...
Redeeming Your Weaknesses
To find your greatest weakness, first identify your greatest strength and then look right behind it. That’s one of the tragic results of sin: it twists our...
G’Day Mate!
I had the privilege of spending the last week with some delightful brothers and sisters in Christ “Down Under.” During my time in Australia, I spoke to the...
RW in McFarland, U.S.A.
If you’d like to see some vivid examples of relational wisdom, be sure to see Disney’s latest release, McFarland, U.S.A. The movie is based on the true story...
How Did You Experience Me?
One of the hardest and yet most profitable questions you can ever ask another person is … “How did you experience me?” In other words … “Please tell me how I...
The Three Faces of Fear
Fear usually triggers one of three reactions: control, anger or withdrawal (the latter two actually being forms of the first). This is a key insight for...
Embarrassing Sin, Comforting Forgiveness
I recently sent out an impulsive and sin-tainted email to a group of people whom I dearly love. Two brothers quickly and gently confronted me. I then had the...
Four Elements of Effective Church Planning
Click Here For a Downloadable PDF File Any time we make plans that impact a group of people—whether it’s our church, ministry, business or even our family—we...
Five Ways RW Benefits Church Planters
I had the privilege of spending the last three days with 200 men and women who are passionate about planting churches in southern California. We gathered at a...
Turning Assault into Reconciliation
One of the most dramatic reconciliations I ever witnessed involved five brothers and a sister who were fighting over their parents’ estate. Their relationship...
A Wise Son Makes a Glad Father
One of the many joys I had last year was seeing my 20-year-old son teaching relational wisdom to business managers and top high school students. RW in the...
13 Dogs and 1 Cat
I recently found thirteen dogs and one cat who show us how to enjoy a peaceful holiday meal. In the process they demonstrate a central dynamic of relational...
We Need Your Help with Three Major Projects
Do you know what excites Corlette and me most about relational wisdom? Its potential for leading others to Christ. Jesus taught that when our relationships...
Giving a Kidney Models RW
Before I became a lawyer, I worked as an engineer on a team that designed hemodialysis machines. While talking with patients going through dialysis, I learned...
31 Ways to Enjoy Highly Relational Holidays
For most people, the holidays are like the French Revolution: they are either the best of times or the worst of times, a time of relational wisdom or a time...
Getting Upstream of Conflict
When people learn about Relational Wisdom 360, they often ask, “What’s the difference between relational wisdom and peacemaking, and why, after devoting...
Blending Hard Skills and Soft Skills at BSF
Last week Corlette and I had the privilege of spending three days teaching relational wisdom to some of the most committed and effective Bible teachers in the...
1,000 Acts of Kindness
Would you like to change the world around you? Then make it a habit to do three acts of kindness every day. Do it consistently for a year, and you’ll bless...
Befuddled Lawyers and Sensible Christians
It’s not often that a prime time television show with nine million viewers makes Christians look sensible by contrasting them with befuddled lawyers, but...
A Two Week Sprint
I love to run. Primarily because it takes me away from electronic distractions and gives me time alone with God. Running also triggers the release of...
A Common Lust
I share a lust with St. Augustine. Although he was a pillar of the church, he regularly prayed, “O Lord, deliver me from this lust of always vindicating...
Don’t Slap Mom
Many adult children are slapping their elderly parents these days. Not with their hands; with their words. When mom asks a question the first time, they may...
Preparing for the End
Every relationship ends in pain. Whether it’s with a pet, a friend, or a family member. If the relationship was wonderful, we feel a great loss. If it was...
Relationships Thrive on EGGs
One of the best ways to improve your relationships is to develop the habit of drawing attention to EGGs. Not the ones you cook, but the innumerable Evidences...
A Sickness Not Unto Death
As many of you know, I was diagnosed with cancer in June and had my thyroid surgically removed. Two weeks ago I swallowed a tablet of radioactive iodine to...
Save 40% and then Smile
There are three things I’d like to do to put a smile on your face this week. First, I’d like to offer you a 40% discount on our online seminar, Discovering...
Always Bring the Gospel
I’m ashamed to admit that I find it easier to bring the law to other people than I do the gospel. By “law” I mean all the “thou shalt” passages. You know, the...
Peacemaking and The Good Wife
Nine million people will soon be introduced to biblical peacemaking through an hour-long television show called The Good Wife. The Good Wife is a prime time...
Approachability: The Passport to Real Ministry and Leadership
Craig was well-equipped for teaching God’s Word. He was committed to Christ, thoroughly educated, solid in his doctrine, well read, loved to study Scripture,...
Where Sorrow Begins
C. H. Spurgeon wrote, “Where self begins, sorrow begins.” That’s a diagnosis that explains most of my unhappy moments. Angry? Usually because I am not getting...
Raising Empathetic Children
My daughter was sitting on the floor in my study crying softly. Megan had been sharing a sad story with me, and her emotions overflowed in tears. Her...
Seven Steps to Empathy
Without empathy, it’s hard to have real relationship. The good news is that since each of us is made in the image of God, we have a natural capacity for...
Gospel Promise List
As of August 8, 2014 (please send suggested additions to Corlette@rw360.org) “God has given you a priceless gift: eternal life through Jesus Christ” (Rom....
Three Examples of Empathy
(Note: this blog post has been combined with a previous post in this article, which I recommend you read instead.) Would you like to deepen your capacity for...
Seven Steps to Empathy
(Note: this blog post has been combined with the next post in this article, which I recommend you read instead.) Without empathy, it’s hard to have real...
The Who, Why and How of Empathy
“What is the biblical model, motive, and method for empathy and compassion?” That’s the question I asked last week as we began our study of these two...
The Empathy of a Dog
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Answers to the Quiz
Last week I posted an RW Quiz based on a short video clip about a woman in Thailand who was dying of cancer. I was impressed by the many insightful answers I...
Ready for an RW Quiz?
Today you can test your relational wisdom. All you have to do is watch a three minute video clip and answer three questions. You can keep your answers to...
Four Ways to Defeat Amygdala Hijacking
The apostle Peter's denial of Christ is a classic example of a neurological/emotional failure that today is commonly referred to as “amygdala hijacking." As...
Hijacked
Peter, James, and John were hijacked. So was Paul. The same was true of Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, and Rachel … even David, the man after God’s own heart. Chances...
Look Up
“I have four hundred and twenty-two friends, yet I’m lonely.” So starts a video clip that’s been viewed six million times in just one week—and stirred up some...
Seven Facts About Emotions
Emotions drive most of what goes on in this world. Whether it’s the desire of a man to win the heart of a special young lady, the sacrificial love of a...
Face to Face and No Excuses
Someone on my team had blown it. Not ethically or morally. He had simply taken too long to complete some significant tasks, which put one of our clients in an...
Relational Stupidity
I’ve seen a lot of foolish behavior during my thirty-two years as a professional conciliator. Like the man who divorced his lovely Christian wife to marry a...
Learn RW Online
We are pleased to announce that both the Discovering Relational Wisdom Seminar video series and the RW Personal Study Course are now available online. These...
Discovering RW Seminar
Part 5 - Relational Peacemaking Clip 12 Happy Days: "I Was Wrong" Next Video: Improving Relational Wisdom Clip 13 Fireproof: "Why Are You Doing...
Discovering RW Seminar
Part 4a - Applying Relational Wisdom Clip 7 - Awareness Test Clip 8 - Pursuit of Happyness: "I'm Going Pro" Next Video: Applying Relational Wisdom (b) ...
Discovering RW Seminar
Part 2 - The Challenge of Emotions Clip 3 - Fireproof: "I Want Out" Next Video: Defining Relational Wisdom Clip 4 It's Not About the Nail Clip 5 Les...
Gospel Outpouring
Relational wisdom is an outpouring of the gospel. It is one of the primary blessings unleashed through faith in Christ and therefore has the potential to...
If Your Enemy is Freezing
One night in the early years of our marriage, Corlette and I had such an intense disagreement that we went to bed unreconciled. Yes, we broke the command not...
Olympic RW
Jessica Long was born in Siberia … without legs. Left at a grim orphanage as a baby, she’s gone on to win twelve gold medals. I’d give her a thirteenth, in...
I Am Home
Do people feel relationally safe in your home? Your church? Your school? Your business? Is it the place they long to come to when the problems of the world...
Seven Benefits of a Smile
Megan was eighteen months old when she decided to test her smile on a Hells Angel. Just before a vacation in Jackson, Wyoming, she had learned what a fun...
Use Noah’s GPS
Noah beat Garmin to the punch. Abraham got the jump on TomTom. And Moses was way ahead of Magellan. What on earth am I talking about? Navigation systems. If...
Alone Yet Not Alone
Joni Eareckson Tada’s superb new song, Alone Yet Not Alone, is stirring up a lot of controversy in Hollywood. I hope it stirs you up as well by reminding you...
R Before I
When I’m in a business, church, or ministry meeting, my tendency is to get to the issues as quickly as possible. If I give into this urge, I usually regret...
I Am Christ’s!
I wake up some mornings and feel overwhelmed before I even get out of bed. Ministry challenges, relational concerns, personal weaknesses, past failures and...
Are You Relational or Informational?
Many pastors are much better at imparting information than they are at building relationships. They are comfortable in their studies. They love their books....
Saving Mr. Banks
Disney’s newest movie, Saving Mr. Banks, provides an excellent opportunity for discussing relational wisdom and sharing the gospel of Christ. The movie is...
Wired to Be 3D: RW and Tri-Perspectivalism
God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and your relationships prosper. Ignore it and they will...
Wired to be 3D
A slightly expanded version of this post is available here. God designed us to be three-dimensional in our relationships. Align yourself with this design, and...
Two Acts of Kindness
Network news bombards us daily with so many reports of immorality, corruption, and violence that it's easy to become discouraged about the condition and...
Ready to Be Robbed
Jessica Eaves was recently robbed in her local grocery story. But she was ready … not with a Taser but with the Word of God. It happened so quickly. As she...
Serving During Surgery
Last week I was well-served by an outstanding medical team. Over a dozen people at the Billings Clinic pooled their training and talents to repair a small...
Reconcilosec
Here is an easy, painless, and guaranteed way to deal with the relational challenges of the holidays (if video screen does not appear below, click here)....
The Perfect Present
Are you already dreading the challenge of holiday shopping? Finding the right gifts for people who already have more stuff than they know what to do with?...
Dolphins vs. Eagles
Children often demonstrate far more relational wisdom than adults. Simply compare the bullying scandal in the Miami Dolphins locker room with the remarkable...
Do a 180
Sin-tainted emotions often provide helpful navigation points … and excellent opportunities to practice the six core skills of relational wisdom. When you...
Parting in Peace
My big brother died three days ago. Steve was diagnosed with cancer in 1999 and was told he had only a year to live. Not willing to leave his family so soon,...
Papa, Clean Me!
Andrew, my two-and-half-year-old grandson, came across a fresh pile of dog poo in the yard last week. Having been told repeatedly to stay away from dog piles,...
Gentle Shepherding
Tom called me for advice on how to deal with a church elder’s daughter who was pregnant out of wedlock. Half of his elder board was insisting that she appear...
RW Acrostics in Action
When emotions rise, rational thinking usually plummets. This is why I summarized the key principles in my book, The Peacemaker, as simple acrostics, such as...
Don’t Overlook
A lot of Christian leaders are being abruptly removed from their posts these days. Pastors, seminary presidents, ministry CEOs. In many cases, they were fired...
RW … More Than Being Nice
A few days ago, a friend asked me if relational wisdom isn’t simply “being nice.” He’d recently read my “Serving a Barista” post, which gave him the...
R U Morally Superior?
There is one thing you must do in order to judge others, hold a grudge or indulge bitterness. You must constantly affirm yourself as being morally superior to...
A Time for Peace or War?
The following article is adapted from an article I wrote in the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. I have revised it in light of the debate regarding Syria. While...
Preventing a Breach
I learned the hard way how easy it is to breach a dam. When I was fourteen, my dad hired a contractor to enlarge a stock pond on our ranch by building a dam....
The Power of Words
Do you want to learn how to connect with people? Really connect? To touch others heart-to-heart, life-to-life? To convince them you understand and care about...
Awareness Test
This is an awareness test. It takes only 50 seconds … but it could change your life (if video screen does not appear below, click here). Debrief If you missed...
The Nail
This is a test. Watch the following two minute video clip and decide which person you sympathize with the most.
Spreading RW
Would you like to improve your relational skills? Better yet, would you like the people around you to join with you in developing relational wisdom? If so,...
Wounding and Healing
Many of us have no idea how often we wound the people around us. We don’t deliberately set out to hurt others, but because of our natural insensitivity, we...
Hooked
Cindy and Alicia, both seventeen, walked out of the mall after a fun afternoon of shopping. Just as they reached Cindy’s car in the parking lot, two young men...
Astonishing Love
A devastating tornado and a shocking murder. The last things any of us would ever want to experience. And yet as the following video clip illustrates, it was...
A SOG Confession
It’s pretty hard to find a good confession in a modern movie … but here’s a great one. This clip comes from the movie Fireproof. Kirk Cameron plays a young...
A Disastrous Employee
Ben was one of the most gifted and yet deeply flawed executives I’ve ever encountered. When I was asked to mediate tensions within the leadership team of his...
Love Your Enemy
Today’s film clip is taken from the movie To End All Wars. Based on a book by the same title, this movie chronicles the suffering and spiritual transformation...
Confession Killers
If you want to make a confession utterly worthless, use one of these three phrases. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to upset you.” When you use these words,...
The Compassionate Boxer
Cinderella Man is one of my favorite movies, largely because it stars Russell Crowe, one of my favorite actors. The story is based on the life of James J....
RW in the Movies
This Thursday I’m launching a new companion blog that will use short clips from popular movies to teach relational wisdom. As a prelude to the first post, I’d...